Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Palin gives handjob for $100k

Hands....touching hands. Reaching out...touching me. Touching you....

The great Neil Diamond first sang those lyrics reminding us all of a sweet young lady by the name of Caroline. Well, this week, another lady and her hands made a lot of news. In case you missed it, Sarah Palin was the keynote speaker at the National Tea Party Convention this weekend for the grass rootsy fee of $100,000.

Her speech was exactly what you would expect. A string of Republican catch phrases, sprinkled with "folksy" talk (which apparently can be accomplished by inserting a "y" at the end of any word--see, we did it above with "grass rootsy") and sophomoric snipes at President Obama. We shouldn't say that we would hope that by the end of freshman year, most kids could come up with better attacks on a national politician. But we digress.

What was awfully reminiscent of high school was that Palin got busted for having crib notes on her hand. That's right, while giving a speech that once again went to the lame Republican quip on Obama and his teleprompter, the former Vice Presidential candidate for the "Country First" crowd had cheat notes written on her hand.

Now, it's not the cheat notes that offends me. It's the fact that she needed cheat notes to remember the following "thoughts": energy, tax cuts and lift American spirits. Is this woman, who if you listen to Fox is so likely a front runner to challenge Obama that she "scares" the Democrats. so RETARDED that she can't remember those three very broad ideas. My god, how can you run for office as a Republican and not have the word "tax cuts" branded into your frontal lobe? Well if you believe Gretchen Carlson from FoxNews, it was all just a clever ploy by Palin to poke fun at President Obama. Of course, that's RETARDED.

And yes...we used the word RETARDED, but don't sweat it Sarah, we're using it as satire...like Rush Limbaugh does, so it's all good.


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