Come on, man - you know it's a conspiracy of the liberal media...trampling all over her 1st amendment rights, duh, dude... (Let's just forget for a minute that, well, the frickin' media has just as much of a 1st amendment right as do you and I and the lipstick tiger, because, well - that little known, but very true fact kinda ruins her argument, doesn't it?)
I am a bold figure, often seen powerwalking and crushing cans. I have been known to rock a microphone. I translate American Idol for enemy noncombatants. I routinely manage to infurriate DC Metro service personel. I woo women with my impressive name-dropping and my astounding ability at butterbean shelling.
When I'm bored, I take a case of wine over to my friend's house and get introduced to all the Puerto Rican girls who are dying to meet me.
I am a logical negativist who has propounded a set of laws that the world ignores, to its detriment.
I am an expert in Post-Civil War Reconstruction, a veteran of Greenwood Baseball, and an outlaw in Murrell's Inlet.
I once built a perpetual motion machine with Steve Roberts. I make homemade Sprite. I have been and remain on double secret probation.
The Russians call me "Vilnius Nastavic," because I require but one ping. I used to handle black ops for the United States Postal Service. I helped open Dog One and have doctored flight logs for rising 5-star colonels.
I have driven from Texarkana to Atlanta in 28 hours. I had no fatalities during my brief career on the safety patrol.
1 comment:
Come on, man - you know it's a conspiracy of the liberal media...trampling all over her 1st amendment rights, duh, dude... (Let's just forget for a minute that, well, the frickin' media has just as much of a 1st amendment right as do you and I and the lipstick tiger, because, well - that little known, but very true fact kinda ruins her argument, doesn't it?)
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