Female banker canned for having too many assets

Meet Debrahlee Lorenzana. Ms. Lorenzana is a 33-year old, divorced mother from Queens who is suing Citibank claiming she was fired for being too hot. Allegedly, Citibank couldn't handle the "stimulus" Lorenzana was having on her male counterparts. Uh...we're not gonna say the 5'6", 125 bombshell is gonna win, but damn we'd like to have this case. We imagine it would go something like this:

Court: Will the Plaintiff call their first witness?

'Pine: The Plaintiff would call Ms. Lorenzana, your honor.

(Lorenzana walks across courtroom to the witness stand, raises her right hand and is sworn, takes a seat and crosses her legs)

'Pine: The Plaintiff rests, your Honor.

Case closed.

Hattip Thank You, Internet