Tuesday, December 29, 2009


What has John Kreese so upset? It's not that some motel maintenance man has wandered into the Kobra Kai dojo. No...it's that someone dares soil the memory of one of the greatest movies of all time. As if that's not bad enough, these shameless people are doing so with young Jaden Smith taking the place of the great Ralph Macchio.

In case you have missed the news, the idiots in Hollywood who can't come up with any new ideas have decided to tackle one of the Mt. Rushmore '80s Movies of Alltime: the Karate Kid. As if the disaster that was Karate Kid #4 did not warn them of the perils they face in trying to recreate the magic that was Morita-Macchio, they're now gonna try it with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. Hey, dipshits...the Karate Kid was a perfect storm of '80s bliss. Macchio hitting his Tiger Beat apex; Billy Zabka in all his villainous glory; a young, Lolitta-like Elisabeth Shue; and Joe Esposito at the top of his game (You're the best around...).

First they bastardized Can't Buy Me Love. Now the Karate Kid. Soon...we'll have to deal with Tom Cruise's kid in Red Dawn 2010. Give it up, Hollywood. Keep your hands off of our memories!