Saturday, January 30, 2010

Happy Birthday to the man whose practices weren't designed for our enjoyment

Happy Birthday to Coach Norman Dale, legendary coach of of the 1952 Hickory High Indiana High School Basketball champs. That's right, Gene Hackman's birthday is today. Guess how old he is?


You want motivation? Check out Coach Dale firing up Jimmy Chitwood and the boys before the big game.

Then there is Captain Frank Ramsey, USS Alabama, who does not have time to fuck around when the Russians are fueling their missiles!

Then there's Agent Rupert Anderson, who thought he had died and was in hell, until he realized he was just in Mississippi.

How about Little Bill Daggett who I guess you think is kicking English Bob. But it ain't so. What he's doing is talking, you hear? He's talking to all those villains in Missouri. All those villains down there in Cheyenne. And what he's saying is there ain't no whores' gold. And if there was, how they wouldn't want to come lookin' for it anyhow.

That leaves us with the great Royal O'Reilly Tenenbaum, 1932-2001, Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Wreckage Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship.

I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sheheen for Governor hits Florence

Last night, the Wukela Law Firm hosted an Oyster Roast Meet and Greet for Senator Vincent Sheheen, candidate for the Democratic Nomination for Governor. Over 250 folks braved the cold temperatures to come out and eat oysters and chili, listen to live bluegrass music and meet the leading Democratic candidate to be the next Governor of South Carolina.

Much thanks to Ben Moise Catering for the oyster roasting and chili. Thanks also to Bubba Brunson who also provided chili.

Additional props paid to Marty Driggers and his band for daring the cold to pluck the bluegrass tunes.

With Mayor Wukela's endorsement, Senator Sheheen has now picked up the endorsement of two Mayors from the Sixth Congressional District area of South Carolina, as Charleston Mayor Joe Riley endorsed Senator Sheheen a few weeks ago. Couple that with the recent revelations about the fundraising in this race and we believe Sen. Sheheen is starting to establish himself the front runner for the Democratic nomination. Now, it's still only January and both Dwight Drake and Mullins McLeod have shown they're not conceding anything yet, so we've still got a lot of racing to watch. But we feel Sheheen went a long way to locking down the Pee Dee yesterday.

One key fact about last nights crowd, was the diversity. It was about as even a split between black & white, young & old, and republican & democrat as we've seen. That's a very good sign of a candidate that is reaching across traditional lines.

Additional hosts for the event were Dr. Fred Carter, Dr. Richard N. Chapman, Martin Driggers Sr., Eugene Fallon Jr., Rodney Jernigan Jr., Councilman Al Bradley, Ronald Jebaily, Councilwoman Octavia Williams-Blake & Councilman Waymon Mumford.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fly like an eagle...

A jock at San Dimas high school once gave an oral report warning us that computers were making everything smaller. Nowhere have we seen this more evident than in video and wireless technology. Now, some enterprising biologists have taken that new miniaturized technology and put it to a unique use: they've strapped cameras to an eagle. And the shit is fly...pun intended.


Balls Beer: Can we send a case to DC?

We don't know whether to laugh or cry at this video. Could we please send a case, hell...a boatload of this shit to Congress? Stop crying and grow a pair already. Then crack a cold one to celebrate. takes balls to get things done.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Andre Bauer: Heartless POS

Congratulations Andre Bauer. You may have made the most moronic comments yet of the 2010 GOP SC gubernatorial race. Given you're running against Henry "Have you heard I'm runnin' for Guvnah" McMaster, that's saying a lot. But your comments in Fountain Inn at a recent town hall meeting may have cemented you as the heir apparent to Mark "Foot in Mouth" Sanford as your parties choice for Governor.

Check out the lovely comments where Bauer decided to compare the needy to stray animals:

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better," Bauer said.

In South Carolina, 58 percent of students participate in the free and reduced-price lunch program.

Bauer's remarks came during a speech in which he said government should take away assistance if those receiving help didn't pass drug tests or attend parent-teacher conferences or PTA meetings if their children were receiving free and reduced-price lunches.

Later on, Bauer continued to work his audience with:

"I can show you a bar graph where free and reduced lunch has the worst test scores in the state of South Carolina," adding, "You show me the school that has the highest free and reduced lunch, and I'll show you the worst test scores, folks. It's there, period."

Bauer tried to backtrack later on when called on his comments (and coincidentally afer he had finished throwing his red meat to the faithful) by saying he wasn't saying people on government assistance were "animals or anything else."

More importantly than his identification of what our problems are, what the hell is his solution? If the parents of poor kids screw up, don't pass drug tests or don't "give back" sufficiently enough to satisfy Bauer, should we take away the kids reduced or free lunch? Really? Let's starve the kids because the parents are screw ups? we think that's what Bauer honestly thinks? God...we hope not. Instead, he's probably just saying whatever he thinks he needs to say to rile up his base to prove he's more Republican than the other candidates.

But either way, we think Bauer has done one thing: he's shown he can definitely ride the same bicycle of embarrassing remarks as our Luv Guv. Are these remarks as foolish as Sanford actually uttering the line "The opportunity in all this is that I get it ways that I never have" during the other night's state of the State? We don't know. But they're close and certainly more heartless.

So congrats, Bauer. You are well on your way to possibly being the next embarrassing Governor for our state.

Hattip, Savitz.

Friday, January 22, 2010

BTPC Conference Championship week picks: We come in the name of the purple and gold...

We started last week's divisional playoff round Saturday with a scorching 2-0. One of our readers informed us that they had it figured out at that point: seeing as how we are a rock solid .500 for the year, go against our picks for Sunday. That was a great idea. Unfortunately, he abandoned his brilliant plan and now will be unable to retire to Aruba. Sorry.

So if that theory holds true, which game will we get right this week? Read below and decide.

Jets (+8) v. Colts

Karma. They say she's a bitch. Well...the Colts are gonna find out the hard way. Indy started this magical run for the Jets when they pulled their starters and did not go for the perfect season. We're gonna find out just how badly they angered the football gods.

As for the Jets, well we already know the football gods are punishing us, simply by allowing the Jets this far. Jets fan's chest is all puffed out and he's getting ready to blow. If they win Sunday, Jets fan will be unbearable, almost as bad as Rex Ryan himself. Here's a fun fact though about just how "good" the Jets have been: Mark Sanchez is now tied for the franchise record for playoff wins. That's right, the Sanchize is tied with Broadway Joe. That ain't right.

But the Jets have done their fair share of thumbing their noses at the gods. It started with Rex Ryan and his teams ridiculous comments after the losses to the Dolphins. It continued with Ryan's presser where he announced his "great" team was out of the playoffs. It continued after the Colts and Bengals laid down and Rex showed his team the playoff calendar that carried them all the way to the Championship parade, after informing everyone that the Jets should be the favorites to win it all. Now, Ryan is talking about how much he likes the Jets selling AFC Championship gear, then trying to cover it by saying how all 4 teams are selling it conference championship gear. But Rexy doesn't understand that the Jets are the only team selling the gear through their own website. Now Bloomberg is getting in on the action, naming Manhattan "Revis Island" and the NY Post is defiling the memory of one of our favorite crime fighting duos with their "Fatman and Robin" moniker for Ryan and Sanchez.

You don't make fun of Bruce Wayne and his boy wonder.

We think the Jets time is up. And yes...we're gonna keep saying that until it happens. But as Cousin Sal points out, every time the Colts play their starters this year, they won. We think that this week, the Jets have loaded up on the hubris to the point that even the football gods have had enough and would rather see Gang Green put in its place over karma's retribution on the Colts. The real question here though, is the spread. Conventional wisdom certainly seems to be that the Jets will lose, but it will be close. Conventional wisdom has it half right.

BTPC pick = Colts laying the points.

Vikings (+3.5) v. SAINTS

Oh my...have you heard the song Prince did for the Vikings? After allegedly "seeing the future," Prince cut a song titled "Purple and Gold" for the Vikings. Apparently, in the future, music sucks. If that song is "the truth," the truth is crap. But this scares us. How in the hell do you go against Prince?

Easy, you go against the coach who looks like he could be the assistant manager at your third favorite fast food restaurant. And folks...that would be Brad Childress. Or as HIM likes to call his coach, "Chilly."

It's really simple. There's not doubt HIM runs the team in Minnesota. Just look at the video of him leading the team in song to "Pants on the ground," not the fighting song created by Minnesota's gift to rock 'n roll: Prince. And check out that butt slap of Jared Allen there at the end. Can't say I'm shocked by that homo eroticism given the head coach looks like a bicycle shop owning pedophile.

In New Orleans, Sean Payton brought his team back into focus after they looked to possibly be losing their mojo at the end of the regular season. Now he's signing Deuce McAllister just to lead the team out onto the field last week and let the Deuce be a part of the playoff run. Next, he's giving Jon Gruden a game ball. WTF is that about? Apparently Payton wanted to thank Gruden for giving him his first coaching gig. I also think it's because Payton and Gruden are close they've been talking all season. And who did Gruden coach for from 1992-1994? Green Bay. And who was in Green Bay then? HIM. I think Gruden has been giving his buddy Payton and his defensive coaches some help on making HIM screw up. And I think it's gonna work.

Why? Because of those football gods and karma. See, them Saints fans, they've been through some shit. Not just the fans, but that whole freakin' city. And we think its time those accounts got balanced out, setting up the Saints to be everyone's favorite underdog story for Super Bowl week.

BTPC pick Saints laying the points.

Last week: 2-2

Season to date: 126-121-7 Upset Specials 7-9-2

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

BTPC's take on Massachusett's newest senator

Here you go, a little candy for the ladies...Massachusetts's newest Senator, Scott Brown. We readily admit, we stopped paying attention to this race a while ago, when it seemed obvious that Brown would win. Once Democratic nominee Martha Coakley's campaign started sniping at the national party, whining about a lack of help and internal memos started being leaked to place blame, it was apparent the die was cast.

As a friend pointed out, watching Coakley's campaign was like watching Inez Tenenbaum's campaign against Jim DeMint(ed). We agree, except there was no red suit and a lot of the folks talked like Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons.

So what does Brown's election mean? As a technical matter, Brown represents the 41st Republican Senator, so if voting goes strictly by partisan lines, the Democrats have lost holding the filibuster-proof majority. The talk is how this shoots down healthcare. I am sure Jim DeMint(ed) is somewhere crowing and singing the lyrics to his favorite Abba tune. That's not altogether a given. A bill has come out of the Senate and it's the House's turn right now. Shit does not have to go back to the Senate, so it could be immaterial that Brown was elected.

As a practical matter, we don't know if it makes much difference. Over the past year, we have seen more than our fair share of chickenshit (opps...we mean Blue Dog) democrats that have been slitting their political wrists to pander to conservatives in their district. As if their asses will not be cooked if the Democrats don't deliver one of the major issues of our time, an issue that was central to their taking control of the White House and Congress. We have said it before and we'll say it again, you can't win as a Democrat trying to be Republican light. Why? Because they can always run someone who is a tea-party supportin', intelligent-design believin', Sarah Palin lovin', and Glenn Beck watchin' true believer to take your ass out. In other words, if healthcare had to go back to the Senate, we believe some of these chickenshits would try their hardest to appeal to the right and it would be the same difference.

And let's not forget, as Ezra Kelin pointed out, all it means is that the Democrats went from having the largest majority of the 70s to having the second largest majority of the 70s.

So if we don't think it matters that much practically, what is it's meaning? For starters, it's created quite the giddiness in the Republican party. I haven't seen this much hyperbole coming from the right in a long time. It's fun, almost quaint. Takes me back to the heady salad days for the Republican party's implosion during the McCain-Palin campaign.

Let's see, since the race was called last night, we've seen some of our Republican friends and neighbors signing up on "Brown for President" Facebook pages (about as telling an indictment of the state of the GOP as you can get), call last night's win "historic" (in what way? Is this another attempt to steal an Obama idea? How'd that work out last time?), heard a lady scream in her best Nascar twang "Yeah...Scott Brown!" at Redbone (as I am sure she was personally very vested in the race), think the best line of his victory speech was "we should be spending money of killing terrorists, not on lawyers here to defend them" (a ridiculous Glenn Beckian-line meant as red meat for the mob, which ignores the reality of what the current administration has done in Afghanistan and Iraq, not to mention ignoring famous words from the mob's hero, W, that the terrorists "hate us for our freedom" -- which is of course borne from one thing: our laws), read a statement from the man who inherited Senator Thurmond's senate seat crowing how it's an indictment of "backroom, sleazy political deals which amount to bribery" (oh...the irony. And when did SC Republicans start letting Sen. Graham speak again? I thought he was an automatic censure? The elephant people must have been too busy getting their drink on, celebrating the new world order...), and it goes on and on.
We could waste our time pointing out to these folks that the economic problems in this country were created under the Republican's watch, or that the same Republican party held total control of the government recently and didn't even attempt to tackle the biggest domestic issue of the past 50 years in healthcare. We could point out that they are fawning all over a man who actually thinks a line like "In dealing with terrorists, our tax dollars should pay for weapons to stop them, not lawyers to defend them," sums up the problems with our country ( is a damn shame a man with this kind of bubble-gum philosophy now holds the seat occupied by JFK, Ted Kennedy, Henry Cabot Lodge and John Quincy Adams) and is such a simpleton he thinks "check out my daughters, they're available" is a) funny and would be a good line for his acceptance speech into the US Senate or b) not absolutely mortifying for the daughters, but why bother.
Instead, we choose to encourage them to enjoy their victory and partake of the finest meets and cheeses. And while they do that, we can only hope the White House does what Benen reports:

"This is not a moment that causes the president or anybody who works for him to
express any doubt," a senior administration official said. "It more reinforces
the conviction to fight hard." [...]

There won't be any grand proclamation that "the era of Big Government is over" -- the words President Bill Clinton uttered after Republicans won the Congress in the 1990s and he was forced to trim a once-ambitious agenda.

"The response will not be to do incremental things and try to salvage a few seats in the fall," a presidential adviser said.

"The best political route also happens to be the boldest rhetorical route, which
is to go out and fight and let the chips fall where they may. We can say, 'At
least we fought for these things, and the Republicans said no.'"

and that Congressional Democrats follow that lead.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

24: Suspension of reality required

We readily admit we came to the 24 party late, about halfway through season 2. But we quickly became fans and got caught up. We managed to hang on until season 6 just got stupid. We struggled to maintain an interest in the lame "Redemption," meant to bridge the gaps (but not the too numerous to count plot holes) between seasons 6 & 7. We attempted to watch season 7, although not very well. Now, Jack is back and this time (season 8) he's in New York City. If 24 can make it here (the home of many a crappy picante sauce), perhaps they can salvage their dynasty.

But, with the return of 24 we also have the requisite return of the suspension of reality. In addition to the always present plot holes and 5-minute drive through cross-town traffic that our friend Polkey is quick to point out, this season already has a few crazy plot lines that make test my willingness to play along.

First, the relationship between Agent Ortiz and Senior Systems Analyst Dana Walsh. Really? Given the past history of inter-office romance and how badly it's turned out, not just for CTU but for national security, are we really supposed to believe these two are going to be allowed to work together once it comes out they're lovers, let alone getting engaged? Local law enforcement agencies don't allow this crap, let alone a high-profile government agency responsible for national security.

And while we're on Walsh, are we supposed to by that CTU is the elite of the elite when they apparently can't even adequately perform a background check on Walsh, who appears to really be someone other than who she says. And we aren't talking about deep cover, foreign agency sponsored spy cover identity. We're talking about trying to escape loser ex-boyfriends fake identity with, apparently, plenty of folks from her former life able to track her down or who know her secret. WTF?

Also, we have a hard time believing the two cops who found Bauer at the other cop's house last night have not heard of Jack Bauer. Or, for that matter, how Bauer could still possibly go undercover for anything. The man has singlehandedly stopped at least 7 high profile terrorist attacks against the United States. No way in hell he would not be "outed" by now, let alone not be a living legend in law enforcement circles.

Anyway, we just thought we'd point out these issues. If this season manages to hold our attention, we'll try to update this list. Until then, TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS NOW!!!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Happy Martin Luther the King Day

We know it's late, but hope you had a Happy Martin Luther the King day. And ain't never seen no Dr. King wearing no jheri curl.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Saturday night '80s movie rockin' out

As the Fat Tire has run out and we continue to watch the NFL playoffs with our friends Jack & Ginger, we thought we'd share some good old '80s movie rock music. Enjoy.

From possibly the greatest 80s movie ever, Valley Girl, The Plimsouls and A Million Miles Away

For Jaime...our favorite:

Ok...cheating. It's not really from an '80s movie, but it kinda is. Bouncing Souls, Joe Lies (you should recognize that as an 80s reference).

And I can't help but keep rolling with the Souls covers:

For the ladies...a little shirtless Tim Cappello

Democratic Race for the Governor's Mansion 2010

There's an article in The State this morning documenting final quarter fundraising for the Democratic candidates for governor. We've heard some predict that Jim Rex will get the Democratic nod, which I think is ridiculous. We suppose that theory is based on the fact that Rex is a statewide office holder. However, that argument ignores Rex's extremely poor fundraising, not to mention the fact that he won that statewide office BARELY and that was running against someone who wanted to do away with public schools altogether. In other words, name recognition don't mean much if there ain't much associated with the name.

Ask Inez Tenenbaum how much winning a statewide office means for your subsequent elections.

No...Rex will not be winning the democratic nomination. Right now, it's Vince Sheheen's race to lose and his competition will be Dwight Drake (although Mullins McLeod is pulling respectable amounts in himself).

What's funny though, is the Rex campaign's attempts at spin on their poor financial situation.

Rex's campaign said it is using a different kind of campaign strategy, spending more money early on instead of waiting until late in the campaign to spend the bulk on TV buys.

Rex raised $117k during the fourth quarter, but spent $133k during that same time. About $54k of that is for consultants. I'll say that's a different kind of campaign, one that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Or should I say "cents."

This is what Rex's campaign manager, Zeke Stokes, had to say:

Rex's campaign said it is using a different kind of campaign strategy, spending more money early on instead of waiting until late in the campaign to spend the bulk on TV buys.

"That's an antiquated view of campaigns," Stokes said, adding that social media, Twitter and other technologies now allow campaigns to talk to voters throughout the election cycle. "You don't have to wait until the end to make contact with voters anymore.

They sure are putting a lot of faith in Twitter and Facebook, huh?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Lohan: It was just a matter or time...

The moment you have all been waiting for: Hollyscoop is reporting that a Lindsay Lohan sex tape is being shopped around. Although I'm not so sure how you call a 47-second clip a "tape." Then again...who knows? Maybe it was the best 47-second of their life. It could certainly turn out to be a profitable 47-seconds for someone. Hustler has reportedly offered $200k for it. At those rates, what's the over/under on Lohan just embracing her future and going full pro? We're thinking by this time 2011.

BTW, the footage was shot by a "waiter." Told you to tip better, Lindsay. Then again, maybe that was the tip!

Divisional playoff round: L is for loser

Wow...we ate it last week, huh? 1-3 was not how we wanted to get this playoff party started. In all fairness, we would have gone our customary .500 if Aaron Rodgers could have found it in his heart to hit that first pass of OT. Alas...would've, should've and could've are only good for horseshoes and hand grenades. In the cold, heartless world of pigskin prognosticating, they mean squat.

But having said that, we're gonna get back on the horse and see what happens this week.

On to the picks.

SAINTS (-7) v. Cards = Lemme just address the Cards - Pack game from last week one more time.

Take a look at this picture to the right and tell us whether or not Rodgers got facemasked. One argument I have seen advanced is that the Referee, Scott Green, was too busy watching the loose ball to see the facemask. Ok. I can see that. happens.

But the NFL, in it's quest to show they truly rule the universe and can distort reality to epic proportions has issued this lame ass explanation, via Vice President of Officiating, Mike Pereira:

"You have to look at the rule," Pereira said. "We made this adjustment in the rule two years ago. And we basically followed college, interestingly enough, and said that we were gonna get rid of the incidental grab of the face mask, so the grab of the mask that didn't include a pull, a twist or a turn. That really led us to staying away from the type of grab of the mask that doesn't create the possibility of injury."

In Rodgers' case, Pereira said the play "fell into that category of being in the incidental grab."

W. T. F? Really? That's how you want to play it? gonna believe Mike Pereira or your lying eyes here folks? Sorry, but it sure looks to me like DB Michael Adams had a nice grasp of Aaron Rodgers' facemask and that he didn't let go until Rodgers was on the ground. And for those that don't think it mattered because the ball was already out of Rodgers' hand and in the air, only to be scooped from the air by Karlos Dansby and returned, I got two words for you: Tuck Rule. That's right, even Pereira admits he's glad the ball didn't hit the ground or it would've probably been called through the Tuck Rule and incomplete.

So why does that matter? Because...the football hit Rodgers' foot. That's right, it was only a saved from being ruled an incomplete pass by bouncing off the foot of a guy who is being pulled to the ground, in part, by a hand grasping his facemask! What happens to that foot if Adam's hand isn't yanking on the facemask? Maybe it's 3-4 inches to the left or right and the ball never hits it. So...say what you want NFL, but don't act like it could not have played a part in the outcome of the game.

And that's to say nothing of the fact that its a "blow/hit to the head." Aren't those illegal? I tell you what, let's see if that happens this week to Warner, Brees, Manning or Favre and see whether or not it's ignored. I'm thinking the answer to that is no.

But I digress. What's going to happen Saturday afternoon? Kurt Warner played possibly his greatest game ever last week. Can he pull it off again? I don't know. But I do know Drew Brees had to be sitting at home licking his chops thinking about facing either one of those defenses as he watched that game. You know...Brees has overtaken Kurt as the inspirational, feel-good QB of the league. He's Warner without all the self-righteousness.

The question becomes, have the Saints been able to rebottle the lightning they were unleashing on the league before that loss to the Cowboys? I don't know...but I do know this, they're pulling out some desperate measures. Reports out today say the Deuce is loose again in the Big Easy. I don't know whether or not that's a stroke of inspirational genius or sheer desperation. But it's got to be one or the other.

Screw it...I'm going inspirational. I predict Deuce gets a goal line carry early, bowls over Dansby and the Superdome explodes. Who dat? Who dat? Who dat think they gonna beat dem Saints?!

BTPC pick = Saints laying the points.

COLTS (-6.5) v. Ravens

From one former unbeaten to another. The biggest question is how the Colts are going to respond after what has to be one of the most stupid and self-destructive coaching moves of all-time. Caldwell's decision to pull his starters up just one against the Jets in Week 16, then to actually play them some the next week wasn't just bizarre, it was retarded. It smacked of a lack of conviction and then a sad attempt to mollify the angry horde that the Colts fanbase had become.

The big question facing Caldwell's Colts now, is whether or not there's a hangover. I certainly could see it getting ugly in that nice new stadium if the Ravens start off like they did last week. Peyton Manning played nice, but it was pretty clear in reading between the lines that he was pissed about the way those last games were handled.

But we're thinking that's just more fuel for Peyton's fire. Ray Lewis has already been acting like his typical ass-like self, saying this Baltimore team is better than the one that one the Super Bowl. Whatever. That defense was the best in recent memory. This team just beat a Patriot team upon which the sun is setting and Belichick has already started to blow up. Plus, your QB has a hip injury that is "causing fluid to leak into his quad." I have no idea what that means, but it can't be good.

BTPC pick = Colts laying the points.

Cowboys (+2.5) v. VIKINGS

We'll admit it...we're worried about what a Cowboys Championship could do to the psyche of one of our favorite ditzy, yet smokin-hot celebrity blondes. Has Tony Romo stopped for even one second to consider how his success is impacting Joe Simpson's eldest daughter with the wonderful cleavage? We think not. And what a cold bastard that makes him.

The Cowboys are, like Ms. Simpson, smokin' hot right now. Along with the Chargers, they have been playing the best football over the past two months. Will it continue? I don't know. I do know that they signed the defensive coordinator that the Miami Dolphins just fired and he's already gonna be pressed into service, because their DLine coach is leaving to be the defensive coordinator at Georgia. That can't be good.

On the other side, the only reason we can see to pull for the Vikings is if you want to root for two former Gamecocks: Jasper Brinkley and Sidney Rice. HIM's feelings were getting hurt about no attention, so he made a wisecrack at his press conference this week saying he'd see everybody next week. The Cowboys have taken this to mean HIM was guaranteeing victory.

I think this game is gonna be the closest of the weekend, which should probably be fair warning to all of you of the potential blowout in the works.

BTPC pick = Cowboys taking the points.

Jets (+7) v. CHARGERS

If you have not seen the LT Slide video yet, click here immediately. can you pick a team who's "star" makes something this corny?'ve got an out: LT ain't the Charger's marque player anymore. He's been surpassed by Rivers, Sproles, Gates and Jackson. Get ready for plenty of shots of LT standing on the sidelines, hiding behind his tinted facemask.

As the Sportsguy pointed out in his picks column, who knows what the hell is gonna play out in a game between two teams who have both been tied in the press this year to publicity-whore, bi-sexual, reality-tv and tabloid feature Tila Tequila. Not since Barret Robbins disappeared to Tijuana the night before the Super Bowl has tequila had so much of a connection to a NFL Playoff game.

We don't really need to reiterate our hate for Rex Ryan's Jets do we? Good. This is the week Sanchez has to throw for them to win, which means it's the week the Jets turn back into their pumpkin.

BTPC pick = Chargers laying the points.

Last week: 1-3
Season to date: 124-119-7 Upset Specials 7-9-2

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How to make a LOST PB&J sandwich

In case you were wondering how your favorite LOST character would go about making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, wonder no longer. My favorite two are:

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts

1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich “brother”
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly

They say...

one bad apple spoils the bunch. For our friend Lee, as he gets ready to teach his first class tonight, we offer up our favorite clip from an inspirational movie on education.

And that's why I threw those bastards out. And that's all I'm gonna say.

Monday, January 11, 2010

No Pants Subway ride 2010

In case you missed it, yesterday was National No-Pants Day on the Subway.

All I want to know is....

Where was Reino?!?!?!

Chuck is back!

In case you missed it, last night NBC brought back Chuck with a two-hour premiere. As if that was not enough Yvonne Strahovski, another episode comes on tonight at 8 pm. In case you weren't keeping score, that's three hours of Yvonne in two nights. Yowza!

Friday, January 8, 2010

TCB for our boy, Doug

We saw a pretty damn good Youtube today of an old Elvis performance we had never seen and we thought of our old boss. So we offer this up to Doug and hope he takes care of business in 2010.

And we pulled a few more...

Wild Card Round: It's like Deja-Vu, all over again

So, the regular season is over. How'd we do? 50%. No shit. Dead even. Our goal was at least 56%, which we once read was what the wiseguys say you need to be in the black. Good thing lines are just for enterainment purposes only, right? We only hit 39% on the upset specials, so that needs some work too. But we finished the season with a good week: 10-6. As our man Herm Edwards once said: We can build on this.

But this week is all about the Playoffs. Or as we like to call it: Mora Time.

Alas, our Dolphins won't be participating this season. Just as well, they wouldn't win it all anyway, so why not get the better draft pick.

The interesting thing with this year's wild card round, is that three of the four games are repeats of games from last week. I believe if NE would have beaten the Texans last week, all four games would be repeats. As it is, it looks like our old friend Yogi Berra was right. It is deja-vu, all over again. On with the picks...


Jets (+2.5) v. BENGALS = God, is Rex Ryan an ass or what. Just a few weeks ago, after his teams 10-7 loss to the Falcons, Rex infamously (and stupidly) declared his team out of the playoffs. Well, imagine their they are. How'd it happen? Well...they got lucky. The biggest gift that was handed to them was Coach Caldwell of the Colts handing them the win in week 16. Caldwell pulled Manning with the Colts up by 1 and the backup QB immediately handed the ball off to the Jets and they took the lead. Then they played the Bengals just this past Monday. The Bengals didn't have jackshit to play for, so the Jets rolled 37-0.

Despite the fact that his teams playoff birth was handed to them, Ryan's chest-puffing has begun. Ryan has already declared that his team should be the favorites to win it all. Bart Scott was on PTI the other day pleading his case about how hard the Bengals really tried in that game.

We have to concede a fact here: We hate the Jets.

After all their crowing, I'm thinking the Bengals may too. This game is gonna be close, because the teams are pretty evenly matched. The Bengals are hurt by their stud rookie LB Rey Maualuga being out and that hurts with the Jets running game coming into town. There are a lot of similarities in these teams. Both coaches were Defensive Coordinators for the Ravens. Both QBs were studs for the Trojans. Both running backs were let go the Bears. And both teams have idiots who like to run their mouth (Ryan and Ochocinco). The difference is Ochocinco is funny.

We freely admit this pick is heart over head. But I think it's time for Carson Palmer to win a playoff game. I it's time for Rex Ryan to eat some humble pie. Look at the know he likes pie.

BTPC pick = Bengals laying the points.

Eagles (+4) v. COWBOYS = The Eagles fly back down to Dallas where they just got pounded 24-0 by Jurrah's 'Boys. Unlike the Bengals, the Eagles had every reason to win that game as it would have resulted in them getting a first round bye. Instead they lost to their hated rivals, giving Dallas the NFC East crown in the process.

McNabb has had to back off this week from his comments about the Eagles "showing their youth" in the loss. The Eagles problem is that their most exciting player, DeSean Jackson, has been kept in check by the Cowboys. Jackson has not been able to score against Dallas. That has to change for them to win Sunday.

Meanwhile, Dallas (allegedly "America's Team") has not won a playoff game since 1996. It is all going to be on Tony Romo's back. He's got a pretty large monkey on that back that he has to get off. Romo has played well of late, but until he can win a "big" game, he's gonna continue to hear that he folds under pressure. The key there will be the Eagles blitz. Last week, they really did not bring many blitzes, which is odd. You almost wonder whether or not the Eagles were setting Romo up. We'll find out Saturday night.

BTPC pick = Cowboys laying the points.


Ravens (+3.5) v. PATRIOTS = So Brady loses his blankie (Welker) and there's no question he has not been the same QB without it. NE managed to beat Baltimore 27-21 back in October. Can they do it again?

The big plus for the Pats is that the game is at home, where they have not lost in a while. Plus, they're 5-0 against the Ravens lifetime. It isn't just Welker, the word is that Brady is "healthy," but that's relative. He's been nursing broken ribs since the Miami game and we all know you can't trust Belichick's injury reports to be that candid. Lucky for them, there is some good news on the health front: Vince Wilfork and Ty Warren are also supposed to the relatively healthy, two key clogs in their run defense they will need against Rice and McGahee.

The Ravens have their own injury issues. While Ray Lewis gets all the press, Ed Reed is and has been what makes that defense special. Reed has been out for a while and word is he will be limited today.

I think the key in this game is gonna be Sammy Morris and Fred Taylor. However, I think they're gonna be big in the passing game, not the running game. These two both catch the ball well and NE is in general good with dump offs and screens. I think NE is gonna have problems running the ball against Gregg and Ngata or hitting the edge with Lewis. But they can get those guys outside after faking protection and that's gonna be key.

It's gonna be cold. It's gonna be in Foxboro and Belichick has gotten plenty of ammo with Welker's injury to play the nobody is giving us a chance. We'll we are.

BTPC pick = Pats laying the points.

Pack (+1) v. CARDS = The Cards have a lot of injuries. The Pack is coming on, having finished an NFC best 7-1 over the second half, including a 33-7 ass-whupping on the Cards last weekend. The Cards knew the game meant nothing before kickoff, so they pulled old-man winter Warner after just a few plays. Boldin, Campbell and Rogers-Cromartie are all banged up, with Boldin being the worst. For the Pack, Woodson got dinged last week, but says he's good to go.

Rodgers has had another great season. He's the first QB in history to pass for over 4,000 yards in his first two seasons. You can't overlook the fact that if Rodgers can knock out senior citizen Warner, he get's a third shot at playing HIM next week in Minnesota. How awesome would it be if Rodgers went into the Metrodome and knocked HIM out of the playoffs? That would be pretty suuuhweeet. And that's what we're rooting for.

BTPC pick = Pack taking the point.

Last Week: 10-6 Upset specials (didn't pick)

Season to date: 123-116-7 Upset Specials 7-9-2

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Dude meets the Bard

It's been a long week at work, so we haven't really gotten the chance to surf the internets. But this evening, we did. And we ran across this gem: Two Gentlemen of Lebowski. It's The Big Lebowski screenplay rewritten as a Shakespearean play by Adam Berttoci.

You've got The Knave and his bowling pals, Sir Walter and Sir Donald dealing with the likes of Sir Geoffrey of Lebowski and Jaques Treehorn.

My favorite lines:

-Whither the money, Lebowski

-Obviously thou art not a golfer. - The Knave

-Thou attend’st not; and so thou hast no frame of reference. Thou art as a child, wandering and strutting amidst the groundlings as a play is in session, heeding not the poor players, their exits and their entrances, and, wanting to know the subject of the story, asking which is the lover and which the tyrant. - Sir Walter

-A most subtle jest! Nay, but children of the inner city, of good promise, resolved to study but without the means. My lord resolves that they will all attend the university. - Brandt

-Smokey, this be not the foul jungles of the darkest East Orient. This be ninepins. We are bound by laws. - Sir Walter

-Yea, well, that be, forsooth, thy opinion, sir. -The Knave

-O toe!
Thou wouldst have a toe? A toe can be obtain’d.
Ways are known, Knave. Thou wilt not like to hear.
I’ll have a toe for thee this afternoon - Sir Walter

-This befalleth when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks, Laurence! Understand’st thou? Dost thou attend me? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence, when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks? - Sir Walter

Fun stuff...hattip, Popcandy.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Easy like a Sunday Morning...

How about some nice music to get you in the mood for the final week of the NFL Regular season.

Hattip to Jaime for the tuneage...