Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Dumbification of America

Want to know what is wrong with this country?

You ever tried to reason with an idiot? Ain't easy, is it?

Watch the clip below and keep in mind a couple of things:

First, Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) is a 10-term congressman who helps oversee federal funding on the Food and Drug Administration. He is, relatively speaking, considered a "moderate" Republican.

Second, evolution is no more a "theory" than gravity is, as far a science is concerned. It's not something was believed. In science, theories do not turn into facts through the accumulation of evidence. Rather, theories are the end points of science. The "theory" of evolution is based upon a collection of known facts. These facts were not gathered in an effort to prove evolution, rather they were collected before the fact and than conclusions drawn from the collected facts. Compare and contrast that to theories on intelligent design or creationism, which operated in the reverse fashion.

What are these "facts" you ask?

1) the earth is approximately ∼4 billion years old.

2) 5.7 million years ago we descended from an ancestor we share with chimpanzees. Yes, Rep.'s true. Bummer for you. So sorry.

3) Homo erectus (our immediate ancestor) is anywhere from 1.8 to 0.3 million years old and people more or less like us (homo sapiens sapiens) arose in Africa 100,000 years ago. The fossil evidence for these observations has been validated by newer techniques of molecular biology, capped by the human genome project.

4) Natural selection has been observed and documented throughout medicine and science for years. Think "Immunity." It's what former Canadian Prime Minister Kim Campbell was trying to explain to Rep. Kingston. His weak ass "adaptation" is what we're talking about. That adaptation, or even mutation, is "evolution" Rep. Kingston. It is an organism changing to improve its odds of survival.

Seriously, if you watched this whole show, the look on Campbell's face at one point when Kingston is talking is absolutely priceless. It's like she can't believe someone who has been elected to the United States Congress for 10 terms would be so stupid. Notice how Kingston seeks help from fellow conservative The National Review's Will Cain, only to be rebuffed by Cain telling him: "I'm sorry, I believe in evolution."

This whole charade exemplifies what's wrong with this country. There is nothing wrong with faith. But it ain't science. And for people to try to put the two on equal footing is not only ridiculous, it's also dangerous. Take Campbell's reaction. People who discount science that are in leadership positions in this country, WILL NOT be taken seriously by the rest of the world. Anyone think the Chinese wouldn't laugh their asses off at someone sitting across from the negotiation table who discounted evolution? How about the Russians? Israelis? North Koreans? If we send people into situations to represent our country and they are adequately prepared (ie., they reject accepted science) our country will suffer. It's just proof that they are either a) ignorant or b) easily manipulated. Either way, we lose.

Hattip Benen.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Is Sofia Vergara the cure for cancer?

As WWTDD thankfully pointed out for everyone, Modern Family's Sofia Vergara was at the Elle Women in Television Event last night...and all the other women refused to get out of their limos. Come on...can you blame them? Good Lord Have Mercy!

Seriously, we're not saying Sofia Vergara can cure cancer, but we've been staring at this picture for about an hour and we're pretty sure we're cancer free as of right now. Just sayin'...

Gretchen, you ignorant slut...

Benen has a post up today documenting yet another instance of Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson overreacting to a perceived outrageous tragedy of epic proportion which is non existent.

Pray tell?

In July, "Captain America: The First Avenger," a big superhero movie, will hit theaters. But because Hollywood studios rely so heavily on the international box office, in much of the world, the movie will simply be called, "The First Avenger." As a business decision, this isn't exactly shocking.

At least, it shouldn't be. On "Fox & Friends" this morning, Gretchen Carlson was outraged by the news.

"You know what? That is so crazy. Before you know it, this country will just be called 'Half of North America.' OK? Because, 'Oh, you can't say, America.' What will we say? What will we call this country when we can't say 'America' anymore?"

In Carlson's mind, it's reasonable to think we may reach a point at which "we" can't even utter the word "America" anymore. Never mind that this is one movie studio making a reasonable marketing decision about the title of one movie, the Fox News personality is actually worked up about this, as if there's an active campaign underway to restrict use of the word "American."
Let's forget two issues so absurd that they were pointed out by commenters under Benen's article:

1) "We" will most likely call this country the United States, since that's our name (hattip Joshua Norton); and,

2) "We" are actually only one-third of North America (hattip FlipYrWhig); but...

More importantly...Gretchen...How the hell are we gonna say North AMERICA without saying AMERICA?!?!

A suggestion for Sen. David Vitter and his citizenship amendment...

So...Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) has teamed up with Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) to propose a constitutional amendment, to get rid of birthright citizenship for the children of illegal immigrants.

In case you forgot who David Vitter is:

A woman accused of running a Washington prostitution ring placed five phone calls to David Vitter while he was a House member, including two while roll call votes were under way, according to telephone and congressional records.

Vitter, a Louisiana Republican now in the Senate, acknowledged Monday that his number was on the woman’s call list and apologized for a “very serious sin.”
Tell you what,'d probably garner a lot more support for your constitutional amendment if you amend it to say self-righteous, hypocritical-doucebag-politicians-who-run-family-values-campaigns-only-to-get-caught-banging-high-priced-call-girls-then-dragging-their-shamed-wives-before-the-public-for-an-"I have sinned"-press-conference are to be stripped of their citizenship.

Speaking of stripping...Louisianna voters could have supported the lady above, Stormy Daniels, for Vitter's seat. Seriously, we're supposed to refer to senators as "the Honorable..." If your gonna have a joke representing you in DC, why not a hot joke who everyone is laughing with, not at. You telling us Ms. Daniels couldn't bring home some pork? Which member of the United States Senate is gonna deny this lady an earmark?

Gives the term "filibuster" a whole new meaning, don't it?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

What if Bud Fox never turned on Gordon Gekko?

Everyone knows the story of Oliver Stone's great film of 80s excess and greed: Wall Street. In the movie, a young hard-charging go-getter by the name of Bud Fox latches on to the hollow happiness of money and power exemplified in Wall Street titan/raider Gordon Gekko.

Gekko's character was supposed to revile us. He was supposed to be the bad guy. America was supposed to look into the mirror and see the hideous monster our greed had created and how it was corrupting our ideals and our children. But Gekko, played impeccably by Michael Douglas, turned into a hero in the film. Why? Because people want to live a life filled with money and power. The American Dream is all about excess and greed. And no one exemplifies this more now, than the man who played Bud Fox: Charlie Sheen.

In case you haven't been following Sheen lately, there was an incident recently where Charlie trashed a hotel bathroom while coked-out-of-his-mind, naked and allegedly holding a porn star captive. A porn star he had earlier introduced to his ex-wife over dinner after paying her something like $20k to party. What happened to Charlie? Nothing. Why? Because Charlie is the star of a television sitcom that apparently a lot of people watch: Two and Half Men. How big is the show? When CBS unveiled their new lineup recently, the head of CBS addressed Charlie's latest shenanigans (the aforementioned NY hotel incident) by basically saying, "Charlie is gonna be Charlie."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Charlie Sheen has achieved the American Dream. Charlie Sheen has FUCK YOU Money. That means Charlie can do what Charlie wants to do. And like any red-blooded American male, Charlie wants to do briefcases full of cocaine and porn stars.

As WWTDD relays to us from TMZ, Charlie's latest chase of the American Dream has landed him in the hospital:

Sheen had a “briefcase full of cocaine” delivered to his home — and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital … this according to a source inside the house.

We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women.

After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine.

According to WWTDD, one of the porn stars was Melanie Rios, seen here with her "sister."

The other was Kacey Jordan, who according to WWTDD tweeted this picture from Casa de Charlie, along with the comment: "It's officially 24 hours of drinking! hehe."

No wonder Charlie has to shell out big bucks for these porn stars...that kind of class don't come cheap. *Notice the breathwash and lysol wipes on the table. If your gonna party with porn smart. Make them disinfect...*

Hey...anyone care to guess what "business" the business associate described above helps Sheen out with? Bet it's either A) getting Melanie Rios and Kacey Jordan over to Casa de Carlos; or B) making sure Charlie's "luggage" is delivered on time. Either way, it must be a helluva gig.

Our favorite report on the latest Charlie incident though, is this report from E! which has the following line:

A source close to Brooke Mueller tells E! News that Sheen's estranged ex has been informed that he "will be OK."

No shit, he's gonna be ok...he's doing bricks of coke off of naked porn stars. In what world is that gonna be considered being anything other than OK?!

FWIW, that same E! item above says Charlie is being hospitalized because he "aggravated a hernia," laughing too hard on the set. As if that excuse will be believed by anyone who has seen his show... what point does Oliver Stone just release a new Wall Street Blu-Ray where he weaves in TMZ footage of Charlie from the past two years and reworks the ending to Bud Fox not being a pussy and instead helping Gekko bust up Blue Star Airlines, the first of many mega-deals he churns out with Gekko? How do you get us in a room with Stone to pitch this? Tell us that wouldn't have been better than that Shia LaBeouf crapper...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Florence man kills superhero...

In case you missed it, the big news in the world of comics is that the Fantastic Four is now the Fantastic Three. Yesterday, the new Fantastic Four came out to much fanfare, as fans of the comic had eagerly been awaiting finding out which member would be meeting their much-publicized end.

A page from the new issue of Fantastic Four (Marvel)

Turns out it was Johnny Storm, aka The Human Torch. Why should anyone around here who isn't into comics care? Because the man who snuffed out Torch is our pal and Florence-native Jonathan Hickman. (Click here for an interview with Hickman about the issue). Hickman had another Sandlapper as his accomplice, as Columbia's Steve Epting handled the art, while Hickman handled the story.

Not every day that two of South Carolina's own make headlines in the Entertainment world, so this is kind of a big deal. To get an idea of how this came about, click here.

Hickman still toils deep behind the Pine Curtain, so stop by his website periodically or follow him on Twitter ( @jhickman ) to see what is going on.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Elephants are at it again...

Looks like the elephants are fighting again. Specifically, the Florence County GOP. (Not surprising given the events from this last election cycle). It would appear that some within the local Republican party want to punish others who they deem not "true" Republicans or whom they believe have betrayed the cause.

Local blogger Bette Cox put a post up recently, which we would direct your attention to. The whole thing is, in and of itself, laughable (and incredibly short-sighted). The point of a party is to foster participation. Certainly seems inapposite of that goal to exclude people who would likely agree with you on more things than not, simply because those people elected to support the other party's candidate in one particular race. It's foolish and ignores the realities of local politics. People know candidates personally, for good and for bad. That means sometimes those personal feelings are going to govern one's support just as much as political ideology. It certainly seems their actions will cost them some experienced and valuable folks.

Be that as it may, one of the targets of the nonsense is none other than the esteemed political science professor, Dr. Neal Thigpen. For those unfamiliar with Pee Dee politics, or South Carolina politics in general, Dr. Thigpen has long been on of the most trusted local commentators and analysts on politics. Dr. Thigpen has often been sought after by television stations and newspapers to comment on elections, debates and campaigns in general. Dr. Thigpen is a friend of ours (perhaps another nail in his Republican-bonafides-coffin). He has forgotten more about politics than most people know. If the local Republican party wants to decide to turn their back on the wealth of knowledge this man has, so be it. They are fools who will simply get what they ask for.

So, kudos...get to it. Purge your party of those who aren't zealot enough for you. You would think having made this past race for Solicitor a litmus test on Republicanism, then proceeding to have your teeth kicked in would have told them something. You would be wrong.

Remember...there is no education in the second kick of a mule.

Friday, January 21, 2011

We don't normally like Florida Gators...

But since Florida Gator safety Will Hill has declared for the NFL draft, we'll make an exception. Especially after reading excerpts from his Twitter feed courtesy of Every Day Should Be A Saturday. As the EDSBAS folks summise: Hill's Twitter feed is all blow jobs, weed, and random thoughts about babies' frustrating fragility.

Something tells me Urban Meyer wasn't as close to Will Hill as he was to savior-incarnate Tim Tebow. Or was he...

Here's to hoping Thrill Hill succeeds in the NFL, so he can support his three babies and continue to entertain all us.


Championship Week Picks

It is on. Conference Championship Playoffs this week. Green Bay versus Chicago. Jets versus Steelers. Get it on. After a 3-1 wildcard week, you just knew we were headed to a balancing-out divisional week last week and that's what you got at 1-3. Prediction: we split this week and then it comes down to the Super Bowl to see which side of .500 the 'Pine winds up on for the Playoffs.

We are, afterall, the "Even Stephens" of the prognostication universe.

Without further is our picks for the Conference Championships. Enjoy...

Our picks for this weeks two games follow the same logic. Both of the better defenses are getting 3.5 points. Both of the better QBs are giving 3.5. One of our picks is on the road, one is at home. One of our picks is because we feel like its just a certain guy's year (Rodgers for the Pack). The other pick is because we pray it isn't the other team's year (God...who could stand Rex Ryan if he actually won a Super Bowl).

We're pulling for the Pack and against the Jets. It will be a fun experiment on the timeless question a young Calogero asked Sonny, somewhat: "Is it better to be loved or feared?" althoug we'd substitute "hated" for "feared."

Packers (-3.5) v. BEARS

BTPC pick = Pack laying 3.5

STEELERS (-3.5) v. Jets

BTPC pick = Steelers laying the 3.5

Enjoy your next to the last weekend of meaningful football...

Last Week, Divisional Round of Playoffs: 1-3
2010 Playoff Record: 4-4 Upset Special: 2-0*
Season to Date (including playoffs): 137-128-9
2010 Regular Season to date: 133-124-9 Upset specials 11-2-1
Career to date: 263-240-17

*The Pack was supposed to be our upset special last week, but we forgot to so name them. We exercise our perogative to do so post-hoc...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

What should Favre do?

In case you missed it, once again, Brett Favre is allegedly retiring. We'll believe Favre is retired when we see someone drive a stake through his cold, dead, attention-whore heart. Until then, what's Number 4's plan?

Maybe his new ad will tell us...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

BTPC hits a Cool Grand...

Whaddya know...the BTPC has reached our thousandth post.

How about a little music to celebrate?

BTW...time to pay up Flossip. The BTPC wins.

So long, Joe. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out...

Today, former Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee and current United States Senator Joe Lieberman announced that he will not seek re-election to the senate in 2012.

"The reason I have decided not to run for re-election in 2012 is best expressed in the wise words from Ecclesiastes: 'To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under Heaven,"' Lieberman said in prepared remarks.

"At the end of this term, I will have served 24 years in the U.S. Senate and 40 years in elective office. For me, it is time for another season and another purpose under Heaven," he said.
Uh...yeah. Joe isn't running because Joe knows he can't win. Lieberman barely won re-election as an independent last time, after losing the Democratic primary. The only reason he did win, was because the democratic candidate and hastily/half-heartedly recruited republican candidate split the opposition votes. That ain't happening this time. So Joe would rather walk out than be carried out feet first.

Here's exclusive BTPC video of Liberman's presser:

We've consistently made our feelings about Droopy Dog well-known on this blog. Lieberman is douchebag. Want to know why? How about watch the two videos below for a refresher course.

See that? See how he acted when he wanted to catch on to some of the Obama's star power in '06? See how he acted when he was still pissed about losing the '06 Democratic primary to Ned LaMont?

We can't forget all the harm Lieberman has done to liberal causes since the 2000 election was decided. In fact, today's announcement just further cements with us the thought that Lieberman's outstanding leadership on repealing DADT was all about trying to reclaim just a sliver of a decent legacy he had blown over the preceding decade. While we acknowledge Lieberman's yeoman effort on DADT repeal, and enjoyed his summation of the difference between his position and his good friend's (that McCain was "simply wrong"), one good act does not excuse all the others.

Syonara, Droopy D. Good riddance.

BTW: This is the BTPC's 1000 post.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Happy Martin Luther the King Day...

As most Americans enjoy a relaxing day off from work, it's important that we all reflect on exactly what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did for our country.

Yes, you all know about Dr. King's leadership in the civil rights movement. But only slightly lesser well-known is Dr. Kings contributions to both the hairstyles of young African-Americans and 80s movie comedy in general.


Saturday, January 15, 2011

The BTPC's Divisional (Bell) picks...

It's been a while since we got to post a picks column. We had to post our picks via Twitter last week as we were out of town. We also had to post today's early game via Twitter and took the Ravens getting 3. Ruh-roh...looks like we're starting this week 0-1.

Here you go, Enjoy...

Ravens (+3) v. STEELERS
This one is already in the can at this point and we're 0-1 out the gate.

BTPC pick = Ravens getting the points

Pack (+2.5) v. FALCONS
If you were picking QBs for your team, you take Rodgers or Ryan? We take Rodgers and the Pack's got the legs to run in the dome...

BTPC pick = Pack getting the 2.5

Seahawks (+10) v. BEARS

We all we got! We all we need! Well...that, 10 points and the mercurial roller-coaster that is Jake Cutler, Chicago Bears Quarterback.

BTPC pick = Seahawks getting the 10

PATS (-8.5) v. Jets

If there is a God in Heaven, she has listened to Rex Ryan and the rest of his jagoff players and she will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would seek to talk shit without winning anything, having Tom Brady shred them, then blow out his knee celebrating, causing Bill Belichick to go into a severe depression leading to him murder-suiciding Rex Ryan and Woody Johnson, resulting in Mark Sanchez giving up football because he marries Rex's widow and becomes a foot fetish video star.

BTPC pick = Pats laying the points and the smackdown.

Last Week, Wildcard Round of Playoffs: 3-1
Final Week of Regular Season: 9-7 Upset Special: 1-0
Season to Date (including playoffs): 136-125-9
2010 Regular Season to date: 133-124-9 Upset specials 11-2-1
Career to date: 262-237-17

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year...

Happy New Year!

The BTPC had a heckuva year in 2010. We hope you did too. Better yet, we've decided to start 2011 out by taking a little journey to Arkansas for some duck hunting. What better way to forget how cursed the Gamecocks seem to be in Atlanta than to ride across the Mighty Mississip and bust some birds out of the sky.

We'll see you guys after the hunt...