So...we got caught up in some holiday stuff last week and only picked one game. Sorry. Whaddya want? We're slack. Oh...and we're gonna go ahead and count that one as an upset special. Why? Cause we can. We're like the Rupert Murdoch of this blog: rules and law don't apply.
Anyway, let's see if we can bring it for the last week in the regular season. Let's start 2012 ought right by having a good week when it counts...when the playoffs are on the line. Big-time Prognosticators Make Big-time Picks in Big-time Games...
VIKINGS (-1.5) v. Bears We really have no idea who could win this game, but we're gonna subscribe to the fantasy that it's "Gerhart Time" and that Leslie Frazier may coach a little harder as his seat is a little hotter. BTPC pick = VIkings by 1.5
Seahawks (+3) v. CARDINALS Two teams that are a lot better at home than on the road. We'll go with the Cards b/c it's in their house and they've got Tim Tebow without the Jesus (John Skelton). BTPC pick = Cards laying the 3
EAGLES (-8.5) v. Redskins The "Our Coaches get Irrational Credit from the media and professional pundits" bowl. Dear Daniel Snyder...you have now hired two has been coaches who accepted your Brinks Truck offers to coach when all they really wanted to do was get back into coaching to help their sons get gigs. Next time, just hire the kids. It'll be cheaper. Once upon a time, Michael Vick destroyed the Skins so bad that the Eagles wound up giving him something like a $55 million extension. Now...was that a good or bad thing? BTPC pick = Skins getting 8.5
FALCONS (11.5) v. Bucs We're gonna take the Bucs here for the irrational reason that we think maybe they'll pull one out for the Gipper and for the rational reason that we're not sure Atlanta can beat anyone, no matter how bad, by that many points. BTPC pick = Bucs getting the 11.5
Lions (-3) v. PACKERS How can the Lions be favored by 3 over the Pack? Because they're actually playing the Packers B Squad. BTPC pick = Lions laying the 3
DOLPHINS (-3) v. Jets Miami could shatter the Jets Playoff chances and it's Jason Taylor's retirement game. BTPC pick = Miami laying the 3.
TEXANS (+3) v. Titans The popular theory is that the Texans aren't gonna wanna back in to the playoffs. Want's got nothing to do with it. They're banged up. CJ needs yards to keep from losing like $300k in salary next year. Ya think he's gonna show up? BTPC pick = Titans laying the 3.
Bills (+11) v. PATS NE has to rest their guys, right? BTPC pick = Bills getting the 11.
49ers (-10.5) v. RAMS On ESPN just now, Mike Ditka was just blasting Sam Bradford, talking about how he's not a franchise QB. As if Ditka would know a franchise QB. BTW, Patrick WIllis is questionable. That 49er D is not the same without WIllis. BTPC pick = Rams getting 10.5
Panthers (+7.5) v. SAINTS We will readily admit, we kinda wrong about Cam Newton. While he's still a cheating mercenary college QB who won Auburn a National Title because they bought his daddy a church, he's a way better NFL QB than we ever thought he would be. Plus, God knows Daniel Constantine Marino is the greatest QB the world has ever seen and he will not be happy about the fact that the Saints kept throwing last week up by so much to break his all-time passing record (which, BTW Drew...if Marino had all the rule advantages you have...he would throw for 8,000 yards a season nowadays). BTPC pick = Panthers getting 7.5 UPSET SPECIAL!
Colts (+3.5) v. JAGUARS Jags outgoing owner Wayne Weaver said in interviews this week that he regretted firing Tom Coughlin. Ya think? BTPC pick = Colts getting the 3.5
BROWNS (+4) v. Steelers Pitt can secure a #2 seed. In other words, this game means something to them... BTPC pick = Steelers laying 4
BENGALS (+6) v. Ravens Bengals are enjoying their best season is a while. The Ravens have a decrepit Ray Lewis and a QB who publicly questioned their OC this week. Did we mention the Bengals were getting 6 points? BTPC pick = Bengals getting 6.
RAIDERS (-3) v. Chargers The "So Long Norv Turner" bowl. So long, Norv... BTPC pick = Raiders laying the 3
BRONCOS (-3) v. Chiefs Can Kyle Orton strike a blow for fired employees and atheists everywhere? We're gonna say yes, simply because we think God is gonna be busy smiting the Saints for the Marino-record karmafying mentioned above. BTPC pick = Chiefs getting 3
Giants (-3) v. COWBOYS Our fantasy team this season was VERY, VERY Cowboy-cific. And despite a 5-game win streak, we were not good. We choked when we had to win. So will the Cowboys. BTPC pick = Giants laying the 3.
Week 16: 1-0 Upset Specials: 1-0 2011 Season Record: 112-104-9 Upset Special: 9-7-1 Career to date: 378-348-27
I am a bold figure, often seen powerwalking and crushing cans. I have been known to rock a microphone. I translate American Idol for enemy noncombatants. I routinely manage to infurriate DC Metro service personel. I woo women with my impressive name-dropping and my astounding ability at butterbean shelling.
When I'm bored, I take a case of wine over to my friend's house and get introduced to all the Puerto Rican girls who are dying to meet me.
I am a logical negativist who has propounded a set of laws that the world ignores, to its detriment.
I am an expert in Post-Civil War Reconstruction, a veteran of Greenwood Baseball, and an outlaw in Murrell's Inlet.
I once built a perpetual motion machine with Steve Roberts. I make homemade Sprite. I have been and remain on double secret probation.
The Russians call me "Vilnius Nastavic," because I require but one ping. I used to handle black ops for the United States Postal Service. I helped open Dog One and have doctored flight logs for rising 5-star colonels.
I have driven from Texarkana to Atlanta in 28 hours. I had no fatalities during my brief career on the safety patrol.