Sunday, October 25, 2009

Week 7 picks: Hanging in for the long haul

Heading into week seven, we are nearing the middle of the NFL season and soon it will time to take stock of a few things before pushing on to the second half. In fact, we're working on having a guest blogger come in and give you all a pep talk on how to close the season out. But that will be in the next two weeks or so.

Right now, if things have not been going well for your, now is not the time to panic. Hang in there. You can't get flustered. For instance, I could have fallen into a chair-throwing rage over the fact that " of two" did not start Matt Schuab last week as I watched the early games. But I kept my cool and watched Mr. Giselle B√ľndchen rack up 51 points in the snow against a very bad Titans team. Then I could have pulled my hair out watching LT play against the Broncos as he scored exactly the 10 points needed for our opponent to beat " of two" by one point, sending us to a 2-4 record and an 8th place ranking in our 10-team league.

Am I worried? No. Why? The NFL season is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep grinding away and keep your head. If need be, use the button I have provided here:

Now...on to this week's picks.

CHIEFS (+4.5) v. Chargers

Charger fans, in case you were wondering...this is the beginning of the end of your Norv Turner era. Turner has taken the Chargers from 11-6, to 8-8, to a current 2-3 record. Looking at the eleven games the rest of the way, I see 3 games I believe are lock-losses (at NYG, at DEN and at DAL) and another probable loss (PHI at home). Busting out my math skills, I don't see SD doing better than 9-7. And that is in a division that has KC and Oakland. Them...they ain't that good.

On top of all that, LDT scares no one and Merriman only scares Tila Tequila. And I have no idea what has happened to Chris Chambers. Jackson is getting double-teamed, Gates is rounding back into Pro-Bowl form and Sproles has got eyes all over him when his lightning bug ass comes out of the backfield. There is only one logical reason why Chambers is not putting up good numbers: he's done. That's a damn shame.

My buddy Clay told me right before the season that he had watched some interview with LDT and that LDT had been wearing a top that Clay swore was womens clothing. It was had spaghetti straps on it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but...uh...not exactly the type of wardrobe you want your tough, between-the-tackles runner wearing. Add that to his new hairstyle and I'm starting to think LDT has turned into a bit of a dandy.

Having said all that, SD has won 4 of the last 5 in this series. But KC has been coming on. They should have beat Dallas two weeks ago and they got their first win last week over the Washington "Oakland East" Redskins.

BTPC pick = Chiefs taking the points.

TEXANS (-3) v. Niners

The Texans are the most confusing team in the league. They are so inconsistent, that they are consistent in their inconsistency. Think about it...we say the same things about the Texans every year. They had great talent last year and tripped all over themselves to their second consecutive 8-8 record. They are right on pace for another, sitting at 3-3.

The Niners have really showed up for every game, except that ass whupping they got from Atlanta. You have to think they will come out of that bye week, ready to reestablish that they are not the team from that game, but the team that should have whupped undefeated Minnesota if not for a horseshoe-out-of-the-ass pass by HIM. Who knows, maybe they get a boost from the first appearance of their 2009 first-round pick, Michael Crabtree. Isn't that whole escapade a little weird? Dude holds out well into the season, signs and three weeks later, Singletary names him as starter. You would think that a coach who does that, benching leading WR Josh Morgan, could run the risk of losing his team. Uh...Mike Singletary does not lose teams. He wins them over. Ask every niner who got a good look at his ass last year, when he dropped trou in an inspirational moment. Oh yeah...Frank Gore is back, too.

BTPC pick = Niners taking the points.

Patriots (-14.5) v. Bucs

Bill Belichick really loves tempting the football gods, does he not? I mean, I love that he left Brady in there, in a blizzard with his surgically repaired knee, against an old-school guy like Jeff Fisher, daring the Titans and the gods to give him a new challenge by careening a LB into Brady's knee. Perhaps he realized Fisher, what with his man-crushes on other team's QBs, would never allow it to happen. Maybe it explains how Billy B dresses like a jedi knight: this is not the knee you were looking for. I don't know. All I do know is that if I learned anything from the ass-whupping my Dolphins got over there across the pond, it is this: bad teams travel bad, especially when it's some kind of special trip. And the Bucs, my friends...they are bad.

BTPC pick = Pats laying the points.

Colts (-13) v. RAMS

Speaking of Jeff Fisher's man-crush on QBs, make sure to tune in and see how many Peyton hangs up on a bad St. Louis team.

BTPC pick = Colts laying the points.

Vikings (+4) v. STEELERS

The unstoppable force meets the immovable object: ADP versus Pitt's rushing D. This game is really about the unbelievable story of an old-timer everyone thought would retire due to questions about an injury and surgery he underwent this offseason, only to see him come back and discover a fountain of youth. That's right...I'm talking about Hines Ward.

Listen, the Ravens carved up the Vikings last week. This included 196 yards in the 4th quarter and the Vikes best CB, Winfield, is banged up. This is the first outdoor game Father Time, HIM, will be playing in somewhat cold weather. The Vikes will have to throw to win and I like Big "head" Ben more tossing the rock around.

I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

BTPC pick = Stuart MacKenzie is wrong, Big Ben will not be crying tonight, Steelers laying the points.

Packers (-7) v. BROWNS

Let's just make this pick and move along, shall we.

BTPC pick = Packers laying the points.

PANTHERS (-7) v. Bills

Has it really come down to us having to decide who we rather count on: Jake Delhomme or Ryan Fitzpatrick? Really? I mean, you've got Steve Smith providing strength to the argument that he should in fact be referred to as "the other" by saying in the Charlotte paper that he's "no longer an asset to this team." There has been some noise about Peppers finally showing up, but please...he "showed up" against Tenn and TB. Before those two games, he had 9 tkls and 1 sack. In those two games, he "showed up" for 12 tkls and 4 sacks. The good news for Panthers fans is that the Bills OL sucks. But do you really feel good about Jake the Contract Mistake taking on a team that had 6 ints last week?

BTPC pick = Bills taking the points.

Jets (-6) v. RAIDERS

Man...oh, man. Would I love to see the Raiders take out another rather large coach this week, just to see Rex Ryan's presser afterwards. Would that not be great?

"I know we lost to the consensus worst-run organization in the league over the last decade, but I truly believe we are a great team."

Seriously, Ryan's post-game pressers have become my favorite ongoing story of the season. As long-time Dolfan listserv pal Randy noted this week, Ryan is like a "blowhard version of Wade Phillips." His vaunted D has been unable to generate much pass rush at all and now he has lost the key to that D, NT Kris Jenkins, for the year. Three things about his franchise QB's dismal performance last week should have Fireman Ed concerned. 1) Ryan admitted to the press he thought about pulling the Sanchize. 2) the Sanchize admitted he doesn't have much experience playing in inclement weather (uh...a bit of a problem for a QB calling the Meadowlands home) and 3) the latest fixation for that NY press is the Sanchize's body language. Specifically his body language the last few games where he has sucked.

Will a return to his beloved sunny West Coast help the Sanchize? Will the Raiders upset of Philly help Ryan convince his "great" team they better show up or they will make him look even more foolish? Can JaMarcus Russell deal with Ryan's blitz package? Will Oakland rally around Tom "the DA ain't gonna prosecute me" Cable?

Man...I really would like to see Oakland win this one outright. I tell you this to warn you that my pick here may be a bit skewed by my hatred for gang green. As such...

BTPC pick = Oakland taking the points.

Bears (+1.5) v. BENGALS

In case you missed it, Chad Ochocinco has already ran Jake Cutler off of Twitter with his trashtalk. The Bengals suffered a big blow last week when they lost Antwan Odom for the year. I have rode the Bengals bandwagon a bit this week, but I think this is the week where we find out how for real they are. If they can beat this Bears team having suffered a bad loss to Houston last week and do it missing their best pass rusher...maybe Marvin Lewis is on to something. Having said that, it's gonna be a cold game where I think Benson runs it up the gut on the Bears with Tommie Harris being out and the Bengals up and coming CBs trick Cutler into mistakes.

BTPC pick = Bengals laying the points.

Falcons (+4) v. COWBOYS

UPSET SPECIAL! Even without TO and Jessica Simpson, the Cowboys continue to be a soap opera. Atlanta has no drama whatsoever. It's about to get to the point where we have to call Roy Williams a bust. It's not a good sign when the other Roy Williams, the one that got run out of town, has a better place in Cowboy fans hearts and memories than the WR does.

BTPC pick = Falcons taking the points.

DOLPHINS (+6.5) v. Saints

HOMER warning! I know NO just dismantled the team everyone thought was the most complete team in the league. But I really like Miami in this game. They can and will run the ball on NO. If they can play this game like the Indy game (which they should have won), I think they win this time around. What they missed there, was the ability to march down the field quickly when needed. I think Henne gives them that.

Did I mention Michael Irvin says the Dolphins stand no chance in this game? That they don't belong on the field, cause they don't have the talent? Or that Warren Sapp thinks the Dolphins brand of football is "simple" as if that's a bad thing? How about a big eff you to Sapp and Irvin, fellas?

BTPC pick = Miami taking the points.

Cardinals (+7) v. GIANTS

Wow...a game between two QBs who have taken heat for not being able to throw the ball in the cold, windy weather of the Meadowlands. Lucky for Warner, the weather's gonna be pretty good. Unlucky for him, Eli has had more success than him in the land of the Giants and Usi and company are coming off an embarrassing loss to Drew Brees' Saints.

BTPC pick = Giants laying the points.

Eagles (-7) v. REDSKINS

Hmmm...who do I like here? Let's see...the Eagles are coming off an embarassing loss to the Raiders and they're playing an arch divisional rival.

Oh...did I mention the 'Skins plays will be called by a guy who just a few weeks ago was calling BINGO?

A35...uh...I mean X-Ray, green push stalker...

Seriously, there was a local story in the DC papers about how Skins QB Jason Campbell was going to head out for each series with a few plays memorized, just in case Sherm Lewis couldn't get the play call in to him on time. I. Shit. You. Not. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a billion-dollar entity in the most prestigious sports league in the United States and they are worried about being able to simply get a play call in. I give you the Washington Redskins. Hang in the Zorn. Make Snyder eat every damn cent of your contract.

BTPC pick = Eagles laying the points.

Last Week: 8-6, "Upset Special" = 1-0...but I called the Broncos beating the Chargers an "upset" when the Broncos were actually favored. So that was a screw up, but so am I. It goes in the season total...
Season to Date: 52-34-2 Upset Specials = 3-4.


Mike Reino said...

Dusty Lombardi broke their 2 game losing streak last week to up it to 4-2. My opponent this week has Tom Brady, which negates Randy Moss for me. The guy with the QB of your reciever always wins.. I'd ask what to do, but your record doesn't give me much confidence!

Mike Reino said...

Oh, and I forgot .... EAT ME CHICKEN, EAT ME CHICKEN !!!