Thursday, January 27, 2011

What if Bud Fox never turned on Gordon Gekko?

Everyone knows the story of Oliver Stone's great film of 80s excess and greed: Wall Street. In the movie, a young hard-charging go-getter by the name of Bud Fox latches on to the hollow happiness of money and power exemplified in Wall Street titan/raider Gordon Gekko.

Gekko's character was supposed to revile us. He was supposed to be the bad guy. America was supposed to look into the mirror and see the hideous monster our greed had created and how it was corrupting our ideals and our children. But Gekko, played impeccably by Michael Douglas, turned into a hero in the film. Why? Because people want to live a life filled with money and power. The American Dream is all about excess and greed. And no one exemplifies this more now, than the man who played Bud Fox: Charlie Sheen.

In case you haven't been following Sheen lately, there was an incident recently where Charlie trashed a hotel bathroom while coked-out-of-his-mind, naked and allegedly holding a porn star captive. A porn star he had earlier introduced to his ex-wife over dinner after paying her something like $20k to party. What happened to Charlie? Nothing. Why? Because Charlie is the star of a television sitcom that apparently a lot of people watch: Two and Half Men. How big is the show? When CBS unveiled their new lineup recently, the head of CBS addressed Charlie's latest shenanigans (the aforementioned NY hotel incident) by basically saying, "Charlie is gonna be Charlie."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Charlie Sheen has achieved the American Dream. Charlie Sheen has FUCK YOU Money. That means Charlie can do what Charlie wants to do. And like any red-blooded American male, Charlie wants to do briefcases full of cocaine and porn stars.

As WWTDD relays to us from TMZ, Charlie's latest chase of the American Dream has landed him in the hospital:

Sheen had a “briefcase full of cocaine” delivered to his home — and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital … this according to a source inside the house.

We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women.

After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine.

According to WWTDD, one of the porn stars was Melanie Rios, seen here with her "sister."

The other was Kacey Jordan, who according to WWTDD tweeted this picture from Casa de Charlie, along with the comment: "It's officially 24 hours of drinking! hehe."

No wonder Charlie has to shell out big bucks for these porn stars...that kind of class don't come cheap. *Notice the breathwash and lysol wipes on the table. If your gonna party with porn smart. Make them disinfect...*

Hey...anyone care to guess what "business" the business associate described above helps Sheen out with? Bet it's either A) getting Melanie Rios and Kacey Jordan over to Casa de Carlos; or B) making sure Charlie's "luggage" is delivered on time. Either way, it must be a helluva gig.

Our favorite report on the latest Charlie incident though, is this report from E! which has the following line:

A source close to Brooke Mueller tells E! News that Sheen's estranged ex has been informed that he "will be OK."

No shit, he's gonna be ok...he's doing bricks of coke off of naked porn stars. In what world is that gonna be considered being anything other than OK?!

FWIW, that same E! item above says Charlie is being hospitalized because he "aggravated a hernia," laughing too hard on the set. As if that excuse will be believed by anyone who has seen his show... what point does Oliver Stone just release a new Wall Street Blu-Ray where he weaves in TMZ footage of Charlie from the past two years and reworks the ending to Bud Fox not being a pussy and instead helping Gekko bust up Blue Star Airlines, the first of many mega-deals he churns out with Gekko? How do you get us in a room with Stone to pitch this? Tell us that wouldn't have been better than that Shia LaBeouf crapper...

1 comment:

Mike Reino said...

Correction. Charlie Sheen has Fuck Everyone money...