Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Week 4 picks: Bruised, battered, but still on the field...

We're a little worse for wear after yesterday's ugly and disheartening Gamecock loss. in the hell can a guy go from being a good SEC East championship QB to not being able to simply complete forward passes? Was Garcia's hair his strength? Do we have a Sampson and Delilah story going on here? Quick...somebody get Garcia a beer to funnel and three strippers for a team-rules-violating party, STAT!

But although our voice is shot and out throat sore from screaming on the D, which played great, and our right ankle is killing us for some reason, we're still here come Sunday morning to give up the goods. Last week finally broke the 8-7-1 logjams we'd been dropping and laid a sweet 11-5 week on you.

In the words of our man, Herm Edwards has told us we can build on this. And so we shall, Herm...and so we shall.

COWBOYS (-2.5) v. Lions
Big game for the Lions. Can they go into Jerry Jones' new digs and prove they are for reals? We're gonna go with the teams who has at least some healthy WRs for the quarterback to throw to..or at least some who did not get their jobs by winning reality television shows.

BTPC pick = Lions getting the 2.5

Saints (-7) v. JAGS
On one hand, you've got arguably the hottest offensive playcaller roaming the sidelines and on the other, you have a coach who's claim to fame is a) wanting to wear a suit during games, b) almost losing his punter's leg to the axe and stump gimmick he put in the locker room; or c) cutting his veteran QB the week before the season starts. Yeah...not really a hard call is it?

BTPC pick = Saints laying the 7.

EAGLES (-9.5) v. 49ers
Vick is now going to have a kevlar glove. This goes with his Kevlar vest (for his torso shots) and with his Kevlar-lined helmet (for his concussion). Seriously...not since those two dudes had the Heat-style robbery of the North Hollywood Bank of America has a private citizen sported this much bullet-proof hardware. We are awfully tempted to take Harbaugh's boys on the road, thinking he may get them fired up and they can keep it close. But lord have mercy...the 49ers cannot pass.

BTPC pick = Eagles laying the 9.5

Skins (-3) v. RAMS
The Skins lost a big game last week versus a QB who was playing after having broken some ribs and suffered a punctured lung. Then their players come out poo-pooing that QB's situation, opining that the QB and opponent talked up the injuries to provide them with a built in excuse had they lost. The problem with that, is they didn't. And you're whining about it makes it look like you can't move on. Meanwhile, Spagnola is starting to look like he could be on the hot seat for a team that a lot of folks picked as their darling sleepers to surprise this season who have wound up being awful.

BTPC pick = UPSET SPECIAL Rams getting the 3.

BROWNS (PK) v. Titans
Peyton Hillis took heat for sitting out last week's game versus our beloved Dolphins with strep throat. Wait a was the Dolphins! And they won! Really? Come on. For the other team, the Titans have lost WR-stud Kenny Britt. We'll take the Browns at home.

BTPC pick = Browns.

Bills (-3) v. BENGALS
Could be a trap game for the Bills. We're gonna buy that this Bills team is blue-collar enough not to take this game for granted. Prove us right, Fitzy...

BTPC pick = Bills laying the 3.

Vikings (-3) v. CHIEFS
Speaking of coaches on the hot seat...Todd Haley, come on down. In Haley's defense, his team has been ravaged by injuries AND they really weren't as good as last season's record looked anyway. On the other side of the field, you've got a coach in Frazier who has watched his team blow big 4th quarter leads to the Chargers, Bucs and Lions. We are awfully tempted to take the Chiefs at home, but we just have to believe if all the Vikes have to do is show up for 4th quarters, eventually they will.

BTPC pick = Vikes laying the 3.

BEARS (-6.5) v. Panthers
We're starting to believe in Cam. We'll take him and the points.

BTPC pick = Panthers getting the 6.5

TEXANS (-3.5) v. Steelers
Eventually we will be reminded that this Texans team is coached by Gary Kubiak. What better game to be reminded of this than when the Steelers and Big Ben come in to town.

BTPC pick = Steelers getting the 3.5

Falcons (-4.5) v. SEAHAWKS
The only thing worse than the Seahawks is how maddening the Falcons can be. Roddy White was out of practice some this week. Ruh-roh.

BTPC pick = Seahawks getting the 4.5

Giants (-1) v. CARDS
Hard to believe this Cards team was in the Super Bowl recently. Given that fact, it's pretty obvious that Kurt Warner should probably get in to the Hall of Fame. We know...we don't exactly like that idea either.

BTPC pick = Giants laying 1.

Dolphins (+7) v. CHARGERS
We doubled down on our Dolphins last week and they let us down. You know it's bad when as a fan, you realize in the 4th quarter that your team is so bad, you want them to lose (see "Suck for Luck" campaign). Given that team owner Steve Ross' buddy Carl Peterson was in attendance at the game, Tony Sparano's tightie-whities ought to be burning up. The idea of Peterson running the Dolphins absolutely scares the shit out of us. This is a guy who gave up a 4th round pick for Herm Edwards. HERM EFFING EDWARDS! What's all this mean for this week's game? means we're screwed whichever way we go. This team is simply gonna screw us. So what the hell...

BTPC pick = Dolphins taking the 7.

PACKERS (-12) v. Broncos
Nothing to see here...move along.

BTPC pick = Pack laying the 12.

Pats (-6) v. RAIDERS
The Pats had everything go wrong last week. Yeah...Brady threw 4 picks, but that ain't happening again. And we'll take Billy B and the newly-shorn Tom Brady coming off a loss.

BTPC pick = Pats laying 6.

RAVENS (-4) v. Jets
Take the Ravens at home.

BTPC pick = Ravens laying 4.

BUCS (-10) v. Colts
The Kerry Collins Colts era appears to have reached its end. That was fun, huh? That's got to be one of the biggest wastes of $4 million we've seen in a long time. So Painter will get his baptism under a young and hungry Bucs D at home. Ruh-roh.

BTPC pick = Bucs laying the 10.

Last Week: 11-5 Upset Specials: 1-0
2011 Season Record: 27-19-2 Upset Special: 3-1
Career to date: 293-259-20

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