The New York Jets lost 10-6 today to our beloved Miami Dolphins, despite the fact that Miami looked absolutely atrocious on offense and to say the officiating was horrendous would be an epic failure because it would imply that there actually was some officiating going on. The Jets offensive line was tackling Miami DE Cameron Wake by the facemask when they couldn't wrap their arms around him, Braylon Edwards was balling up CB Vontae Davis jersey so bad offensively interfering with passes that all you could read on Davis' jersey was "DA--S" of his name, and Joe McKnight ran right into Davonne Bess on a fair catch. But Miami still pulled out the win. How? It's called KARMA, Rex Ryan...you classless sum bitch. Next time you wanna make your opponent's draft bust (WR Patrick Turner) a captain to tweak them (despite the fact he ain't done shit for you) and you wanna have your inactive players trip the opposing players as they cover kicks (see photo above), remember...The Football Gods Are Watching.
Even a douche like Fireman Ed knows you can't do that shit. Look how disappointed Fireman Ed was in you...
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When I'm bored, I take a case of wine over to my friend's house and get introduced to all the Puerto Rican girls who are dying to meet me.
I am a logical negativist who has propounded a set of laws that the world ignores, to its detriment.
I am an expert in Post-Civil War Reconstruction, a veteran of Greenwood Baseball, and an outlaw in Murrell's Inlet.
I once built a perpetual motion machine with Steve Roberts. I make homemade Sprite. I have been and remain on double secret probation.
The Russians call me "Vilnius Nastavic," because I require but one ping. I used to handle black ops for the United States Postal Service. I helped open Dog One and have doctored flight logs for rising 5-star colonels.
I have driven from Texarkana to Atlanta in 28 hours. I had no fatalities during my brief career on the safety patrol.