Not getting it and never will

Ever since November, everyone has wondered what the Republican party was going to do to correct the course of their party. Well...they may have found it. What's the big monumental shift that they are considering? What's gonna make them appeal to more voters? What's going to capture the electorate and show them you are a party of ideas?

Well, here it is: this week, a special session of the RNC executive committee will approve a resolution rebranding Democrats the "Democratic Socialist Party."

No shit.

I'm sure that's gonna turn around these numbers.

I have it on good authority that should this resolution pass, President Obama is considering issuing Executive Directive #420, commonly referred to as the "We're Rubber, You're Glue" proclamation. Already, the National Security Advisor has briefed top Democrats on the likelihood of success for this Republican tactic. In a BTPC exclusive, we have obtained a copy of the briefing memo, aptly titled "the Sticks and Stones Defense." When asked by reporters whether there was any truth to the reports that Congressional Democrats were busy filling ballons with pee, with the intention of "taking this thing nuclear," DNC Chairman Tom Kaine refused comment.

Stay tuned for more details.