I've had the Sotomayorconfirmation hearings streaming as I work the last two days. And today, it was worth it, as I got to see Senator Orin Hatch (R-UT) make his move to lock down the vote of every ninja in Utah. Hatch is smart enough to know that if he can win the ninja vote, who gives a shit about anything else. He could take over the whole state of Utah with just a few ninjas. Give him an army of them and he could take over the world!
Now that I think about it, nunchucks would probably not show up in metal detectors. Someone should alert the Capital police that on the Ultimate warrior show, the gladiator bested the ninja. It was a result I found personally offensive due to the fact that you would have to be ignorant to think a ninja would not just sneak up on a gladiator and kill them before they even knew the ninja was there. Come on.
I am a bold figure, often seen powerwalking and crushing cans. I have been known to rock a microphone. I translate American Idol for enemy noncombatants. I routinely manage to infurriate DC Metro service personel. I woo women with my impressive name-dropping and my astounding ability at butterbean shelling.
When I'm bored, I take a case of wine over to my friend's house and get introduced to all the Puerto Rican girls who are dying to meet me.
I am a logical negativist who has propounded a set of laws that the world ignores, to its detriment.
I am an expert in Post-Civil War Reconstruction, a veteran of Greenwood Baseball, and an outlaw in Murrell's Inlet.
I once built a perpetual motion machine with Steve Roberts. I make homemade Sprite. I have been and remain on double secret probation.
The Russians call me "Vilnius Nastavic," because I require but one ping. I used to handle black ops for the United States Postal Service. I helped open Dog One and have doctored flight logs for rising 5-star colonels.
I have driven from Texarkana to Atlanta in 28 hours. I had no fatalities during my brief career on the safety patrol.
1 comment:
Only in DC can two people talk about how to use nunchucks, and make it SO BORING !!!!!!
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