Looks like it is all over but the shouting in Minnesota. And it only took 62 days. Al Franken has been certified as the winner by the State Canvassing board, by about 225 votes.
And let me tell you something, I know a thing or two about election challenges. And I can tell you, once that panel signs that certification sheet, its gonna take some kind unadulterated criminal activity being unearthed for a court to overturn the certified results.
Trust me. I know. I've been in a room with people arguing. I've been the one to point out the count was certified and there ain't shit that can change it. I've had a Supreme Court prove we were right. The Canvassing board could come back now and say they screwed up. Would not matter. It's over.
Franken will be Minnesota's new Senator. I look forward to it. He spoke at the Koger Center when I was in school. I watched him take questions from the audience for a good 35-40 mintues and he was pretty damn sharp. Plus he's funny as hell. Check out that SNL book, where he talks about the first coke purchase he and Davis made. Good stuff.
I am a bold figure, often seen powerwalking and crushing cans. I have been known to rock a microphone. I translate American Idol for enemy noncombatants. I routinely manage to infurriate DC Metro service personel. I woo women with my impressive name-dropping and my astounding ability at butterbean shelling.
When I'm bored, I take a case of wine over to my friend's house and get introduced to all the Puerto Rican girls who are dying to meet me.
I am a logical negativist who has propounded a set of laws that the world ignores, to its detriment.
I am an expert in Post-Civil War Reconstruction, a veteran of Greenwood Baseball, and an outlaw in Murrell's Inlet.
I once built a perpetual motion machine with Steve Roberts. I make homemade Sprite. I have been and remain on double secret probation.
The Russians call me "Vilnius Nastavic," because I require but one ping. I used to handle black ops for the United States Postal Service. I helped open Dog One and have doctored flight logs for rising 5-star colonels.
I have driven from Texarkana to Atlanta in 28 hours. I had no fatalities during my brief career on the safety patrol.