Thursday, June 3, 2010

Jesus is pissed with you guys...

Rasmussen has a new report that says 58% of Americans don't believe the children of illegal immigrants, born in the United States should be citizens. So, according to Rasmussen, a majority of Americans are against Jesus and the United States Constitution.

Section 1 of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States reads as such:


All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the
jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein
they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the
privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State
deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law;
nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

So that's pretty clear. You born here, you're one of us. End of discussion. But what about that Jewish carpenter? What's his problem? Seems he takes issue with the fact that you're ignoring his daddy's prayer:

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our
daily bread.
And FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO
TRESPASS AGAINST US.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us
from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for
ever and ever.
Amen.
See, what is illegal immigration other than trespassing? According to our own poll, 98% of that 58% majority call themselves Christian. Seriously...those numbers are accurate. It was a completely scientific poll--we stuck a thermometer up our ass and pulled those figures out along with the thermometer. Science. And then we came like a wildcat!

Hattip, KFloyd.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

Sure, natural born people are citizens. But can't those citizens go live with their parents where their parents live? The Constitution doesn't say that being an anchor baby's parent grants citizenship.